If you are a high school gym teacher caught in a love triangle with two highschool girls involved in a plot to kill one of the girls mother in order to get millions in inheritance and get accused of raping one of said high school girls as part of the plan to obtain said inheritance and need a lawyer, Bill Murray will be that lawyer. Bill Murray doesn’t give a fuck.
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If you are a lonely kid sent to summer camp…
If you are a lonely kid sent to summer camp by his parents, Bill Murray will befriend you and enter you in the Camp North Star vs. Camp Mohawk Olympics, give an ironic inspirational speech, then you will win a cross country race that will win you oodles of friends. Bill Murray doesn’t give a fuck.
If you are on an oceanography expedition with Bill Murray…
If you are on an oceanography expedition with Bill Murray and you get eaten by a mysterious and possibly non-existent Jaguar Shark, Bill Murray will use your story to raise funding for a second expedition to get revenge on that Jaguar Shark by blowing it up with dynamite. Bill Murray doesn’t give a fuck.
If you are a cop, and trying to capture a bank robber…
If you are a cop, and trying to capture a bank robber, Bill Murray will dress up like one of the hostages and walk right out from under your nose. Bill Murray doesn’t give a fuck.
If you really want to hear a rendition of some music…
If you really want to hear a rendition of some music that he likes, Bill Murray will give a demo of some Rock, some Jazz and some Pop. Bill Murray doesn’t give a folk.