If you order tequila from a bar when Bill Murray's serving, you get tequila. If you order a beer from a bar when Bill Murray's serving, you get tequila. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're the hottest nineteen year old in acting, Bill Murray will just kiss you, whisper some Bill Murray voodoo shit in your ear and walk the fuck away, leaving you crying on the sidewalk. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're some dumbass teenager, fighting the zombie apocalypse and you accidentally but fatally shoot Bill Murray, he will make a joke. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are an awkward teen with a rare disease combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia and color blindness, Bill Murray will study you for years and publish a book on your syndrome. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are attending a prep school and fall in love with one of your teachers, Bill Murray will be your friend and mentor while also boffing the object of your obsession. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are playing a round of golf and your ball keeps falling in a gopher hole, Bill Murray will just blow the whole damn course to smithereens. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're a TV producer sent on a piddly assignment only to get stuck by a blizzard, Bill Murray will spend eternity learning every fucking thing about you...and you will fall in love with him. Bill Murry doesn't give a fuck.
If your mom dies of cancer and you need someone to be there for you, Bill Murray will give you a glock and some short shorts, teach you to scuba dive, then take you on a mission to kill a sea monster. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're a fox looking to buy a home in the most dangerous tree in town, badger Bill Murray will feign caution, then let you buy the tree anyway and get your tail shot off. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're an alien trying to conquer the earth through a game of basketball, Bill Murray will show up last minute to stop you and then walk away. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're trying to save the world as a spy in training, Bill Murray will be in a tree to let you into the secret lair. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're a white blood cell living in Bill Murray, he will eat an infected egg and make you kill that shit. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're the producers of the new Ghostbusters movie, and you want Bill Murray in it, he will insist that he appear as a ghost or he simply won't be in your movie, and this is 100% true. Billy Murray doesn't give a fuck.
Bill Murray does not give fucks, he receives them. Literally dozens of them.
Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck, or any fucks for that matter. Just Tequila
If you really want to hear a rendition of some music that he likes, Bill Murray with give a demo of some Rock, some Jazz and some Pop. Bill Murray doesn't give a folk.
If you are a cop, and trying to capture a bank robber, Bill Murray will dress up like one of the hostages and walk right out from under your nose. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are on an oceanography expedition with Bill Murray and you get eaten by a mysterious and possibly non-existent Jaguar Shark, Bill Murray will use your story to raise funding for a second expedition to get revenge on that Jaguar Shark by blowing it up with dynamite. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are a lonely kid sent to summer camp by his parents, Bill Murray will befriend you and enter you in the Camp North Star vs. Camp Mohawk Olympics, give an ironic inspirational speech, then you will win a cross country race that will win you oodles of friends. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are a high school gym teacher caught in a love triangle with two highschool girls involved in a plot to kill one of the girls mother in order to get millions in inheritance and get accused of raping one of said high school girls as part of the plan to obtain said inheritance and need a lawyer, Bill Murray will be that lawyer. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you find yourself too drunk to take your final exams Bill Murray will call in a bomb threat and get your finals postponed. Then he will steal the exam key, alter it and sell the botched version to the other students while giving you a copy of the original. You'll think you're going to ace the exam but then later you find out there was no bomb threat, you flunked, and you have to take organic chemistry a second time. Meanwhile, budget deficits caused the university to raise tuition, so no summer in Europe for you. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are living in an underground city that is quickly running out of power and supplies, Bill Murry will just sit around and eat a secret stash of food while the city starves. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you come up with a plan that there is a definitely a very slim chance of surviving, Bill Murray will love the plan and be excited to be part of it. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are an 8,000 pound pachyderm and you need someone to take care of you, Bill Murray will travel across the country with you, no matter what sort of obstacles get in the way. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you climb in the window of a hospital into the room that Bill Murray is staying in and the nurse freaks out and thinks your a bat, he will come with you when asked bringing his wild turkey drip iv with him.... because Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you are either the RZA or the GZA Bill Murray will pour your coffee for you. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
He will also drink the coffee straight out of the pot. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If a movie needs someone to do the voice of an orange, obese cat, Bill Murray will step up to the plate and drop a deuce in the kitty litter. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
If you're an attractive woman at a diner wearing perfume, Bill Murray will tell you go wash it off then come back to the table. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
And he'll wear tight, tight dive wear, and gyrate to weird electro. Bill Murray doesn't give a fuck.
