As a young lad, Chuck Norris’ parents warned him of household toxins that little Chuck should avoid. Proving his superior wit and strength, Chuch then shattered a thermometer and drank the mercury, ate a handful of lead-filled paint chips, and chased it all down with a shot of Clorox. Disappointed in his parents, Chuck roundhoused his dad, and then ripped off his mother’s left hand and bitch slapped her with it. How dare they patronize Chuck Norris!
