Category: Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris’ smile can blind a full-grown adult at twenty paces and has been known to deflect all projectile weapons, including rocket launchers.

A midget, a rabbi, and a horse all walk into a bar. Ah, fuck it. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked all their asses.

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.

On the eighth day, God said, “Let there be Chuck Norris.”, but put him into cryogenic sleep after he roundhouse kicked twelve Adams to death.

Chuck Norris doesn’t understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.