Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris is late. Time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because “hunting” implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

When Chuck Norris jumps into a body of water, he doesn.t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris instead.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.