Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
To sleep, Jack tortures himself to death…
To sleep, Jack tortures himself to death, then wakes up fifteen minutes later.
When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood…
When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Jack Bauer has never pressed the Play button…
Jack Bauer has never pressed the Play button on his answering machine. Upon hearing beeps, he tortures the device until it gives up the messages.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists…
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.