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Chuck Norris doesn’t ask permission, he grants it.

Chuck Norris still owns slaves. Mankind is his slave.

Humans are probed by aliens. Aliens are probed by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris would shave his beard, but there is no metal on earth strong enough to cut through it.

Chuck Norris once copied the answers to a worksheet in Biology. A black kid noticed this, and told him he had just gotten G points. Chuck asked the kid what were G points. The kid replied with, “Gangsta points!” Upon hearing this, Chuck Norris thought back to his days as a kid in Fresno. So he stabbed the kid with a knife and roundhouse kicked him in the face, now he has 50 G points.