It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
America didn’t win the American Revolution…
America didn’t win the American Revolution. Chuck Norris beat the British by himself. Drunk.
The first man on the moon was actually Chuck Norris…
The first man on the moon was actually Chuck Norris. He did this in 1955. When those other two losers got up there, he roundhouse kicked them to Mars and took their space pod. But he didn’t go home; he went to Venus to pick up sluts.
Chuck Norris rejected an invitation to Vin Diesel’s house…
Chuck Norris rejected an invitation to Vin Diesel’s house to play Xbox 720 and Playstation 4 as he was busy playing his Xbox 1080 and Playstation 5.
When Chuck Norris does his laundry…
When Chuck Norris does his laundry, he prefers the gentle cycle. He can’t feel a difference, but he thinks softer clothes helps him blend in with mortals.