Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the sh*t out of little kids.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he’s Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you’re thinking to yourself, “That’s impossible, I already lost my virginity.”, then you are dead wrong.
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from “Walker: Texas Ranger” and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”