An Englishman, American, and Arabian were in a bar talking about their families.
The Englishman said, “I have ten kids at home and if I had another one I would have a soccer team!”
“Well,” said the American guy, “I have 15 kids at home and if I had another one I would have a football team!”
“Well,” said the Arabic guy, “I have 17 wives at home.” He paused, sipping at his drink. “If I had another one I would have a golf course.”
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying, “And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.”
“OH NO!” Mr. Bush exclaims. “That’s terrible!”
His staff sits stunned at this sudden outward display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands, almost sobbing.
Finally, the president looks up and asks, “Just how many is a brazillion, anyway?”
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman’s heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can “accidentally” beat the sh*t out of little kids.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.